Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
