I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
