you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My balls are so social today.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
