Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Send help, water and tortillas.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
