Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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