Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
