its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
