He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
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i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just want to make out with him forever
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Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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