i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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