Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
A+ Viking dick
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
