I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
