just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
