Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
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why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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