It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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