If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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