I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
