Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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