Sry I called you an 8
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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