Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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