i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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