I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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