I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
