oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
