Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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