Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
