youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.