god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
North Korea, Best Korea!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You left your phone here
Wait...
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