just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
