The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize