your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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