Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
