Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
