discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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