I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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