I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
