Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
