why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
