he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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