Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
