she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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