Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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