and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
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He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I lost the right to judge tonight
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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