everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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