I hate your face
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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