every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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