I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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