Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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