Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
