who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.