As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher