woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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