Porn is love you can see.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you had me at cake vodka
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
