Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
