my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
