Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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