youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize