And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Panties = found
Randomize
