He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
