I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
