she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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