lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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