You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
