I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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